Epilogue to Publix story of 5/24/13.

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY UNTIL YOU HAVE SCROLLED DOWN AND FIRST READ MY POST TITLED, “WHAT HAPPENS AT PUBLIX STAYS AT PUBLIX” DATED MAY 24, 2013.

Here’s an epilogue to my adventure in Publix. The very next day Judy went to that same Publix to speak to the manager about the sandwich deliveries she had arranged to be made by Publix to a nearby Cancer Chemotherapy Facility for their patients (see my post of 4/26/13 titled PUBLIX CATERS.) 

In the course of her conversation with the manager she mentioned the story of the blond who attempted to pick me up the previous day at that Publix. The manager laughed and told her that on the previous day the chef who makes up their daily sushi offerings, and who incidentally is an Asian/American and who speaks very little English, told him that a blond woman came up to his counter and started a conversation by asking, “Do you prefer black or white?” The counter man was confused by the question and thought she was asking whether he preferred black or white fish. He replied, “black”.

She replied, “That’s too bad because I’m white and I’m looking for a new boyfriend.” She then strode off.

AND I THOUGHT SHE TRIED TO PICK ME UP BECAUSE OF MY GOOD LOOKS AND BECAUSE I WAS SUCH A NICE MAN.

WHAT HAPPENS AT PUBLIX, STAYS AT PUBLIX

This is a true story. I don’t mean to imply that any of my previous stories were fabrications, but it might be harder for you to believe this story than any of my others.

  This morning Judy told me she had to go shopping to pick up a few hot dog rolls and relish for our dinner that evening. I hate shopping, even for groceries, but for some reason I told her that since I had an appointment that afternoon right next to Publix I would be glad to pick them up. Judy’s mouth fell open when I made the offer but she quickly accepted.

Fast forward to a few hours later. I walk into Publix leaning on my cane on the way to pick up a shopping cart. A beautiful young blond is walking out and passes within a foot of me - - - and flashes a big smile. I could feel that smile all the way to my toes. 

I was very surprised, but no more so than when a few seconds later she pops up on my side and offers to help me extricate a shopping cart that is stuck in the rows of empty carts.

My first reaction is that Publix must have decided to copy Wal-Mart and have a “Greeter” meet customers as they entered the store, but she didn’t look anything like the old “geezers” Wal-Mart employs.

I ask her why she had offered to help me and she replies that it was because I look like a nice man. That seemed like a reasonable enough answer. I ask her how old she is, thinking all the while she is about 17 and perhaps a member of the Girl’s Scouts doing her good deed for the day. She replies, “Thirty”. I do some quick arithmetic and realize that I am almost three times older than she is. (But in 20 years, when she’s 50, I’ll only be twice as old as she is.)

Then she threw me another smile and asks, “Would you like to go and have a cup of coffee?”

I’m stunned. The first reply I think of is to tell her the truth, that ‘I don’t drink coffee’. But that would make me look like a wimp.

Then I wonder; if we go for coffee, since she invited me, ‘will she pick up the check?’

I hear myself saying, “I can’t go, because I’m married.” She nods, beams another big smile and strides off into the parking lot.

I wonder if Judy will need anything at Publix tomorrow?

P.S. As she strode out to her car I noticed she wasn’t carrying a shopping bag or pushing a cart. I imagined that Publix must be out of her brand of coffee.

 

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO KEEP AN 87 YEAR-OLD MAN FIT-AS-A FIDDLE AND WHAT DOES IT COST MEDICARE?

Each Sunday evening I open my weekly calendar book to see what appointments I have in the upcoming seven days. Yesterday I viewed my social calendar and found that I have multiple appointments every day of the week, AND EVERY ONE OF THEM IS WITH A DOCTOR OR NURSE!

Here’s a recap:

1. I have an appointment every day of the week for an injection of 1 mg of a drug that has the following incidence of adverse side effects: nausea (70.5%), anemia (69.5%), thrombocytopenia (65.5%), vomiting (54.1%), pyrexia (51.8%), leukopenia (48.2%), diarrhea (36.4%), injection site erythema (35.0%), constipation (33.6%), neutropenia (32.3%), and ecchymosis (30.5%). Other adverse reactions included dizziness (18.6%), chest pain (16.4%), febrile neutropenia (16.4%), myalgia (15.9%), injection site reaction (13.6%), and malaise (10.9%).

NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK THE HOSPITAL GETS PAID BY MEDICARE FOR EACH 1 mg SHOT OF THIS DRUG WHICH HAS A VERY HIGH RATE OF CAUSING SOME PRETTY BAD SIDE EFFECTS. IF YOU GUESSED $5,700 PER INJECTION YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. THAT’S A COOL $39,900 PER WEEK. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH CELGENE, THE MANUFACTURER, GETS PAID BY THE HOSPITAL.

2. I have an appointment with my cardiologist on Tuesday and with my optometrist on Thursday.

3. I have two appointments with a physical therapist to see if he can help me walk.

4. I also have an appointment to have my blood tested and evaluated by a nurse and oncologist.

5. I have a pain in my shoulder, two sites my dermatologist should look at and my athlete’s feet problem has taken over my toenails and I’ll need to see a podiatrist, but I don’t have time to squeeze them in this week.

All in all this week will probably cost Uncle Sam just under $50,000. But, that’s chicken feed compared to what he will have to shell out for my next round of “chemo” at $27,000 per pop.

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT MEDICARE HAS TO PAY OUT FOR SOMEONE WHO ISN’T AS FIT-AS-A-FIDDLE AS I AM?

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