WHAT HAPPENS AT PUBLIX, STAYS AT PUBLIX

This is a true story. I don’t mean to imply that any of my previous stories were fabrications, but it might be harder for you to believe this story than any of my others.

  This morning Judy told me she had to go shopping to pick up a few hot dog rolls and relish for our dinner that evening. I hate shopping, even for groceries, but for some reason I told her that since I had an appointment that afternoon right next to Publix I would be glad to pick them up. Judy’s mouth fell open when I made the offer but she quickly accepted.

Fast forward to a few hours later. I walk into Publix leaning on my cane on the way to pick up a shopping cart. A beautiful young blond is walking out and passes within a foot of me - - - and flashes a big smile. I could feel that smile all the way to my toes. 

I was very surprised, but no more so than when a few seconds later she pops up on my side and offers to help me extricate a shopping cart that is stuck in the rows of empty carts.

My first reaction is that Publix must have decided to copy Wal-Mart and have a “Greeter” meet customers as they entered the store, but she didn’t look anything like the old “geezers” Wal-Mart employs.

I ask her why she had offered to help me and she replies that it was because I look like a nice man. That seemed like a reasonable enough answer. I ask her how old she is, thinking all the while she is about 17 and perhaps a member of the Girl’s Scouts doing her good deed for the day. She replies, “Thirty”. I do some quick arithmetic and realize that I am almost three times older than she is. (But in 20 years, when she’s 50, I’ll only be twice as old as she is.)

Then she threw me another smile and asks, “Would you like to go and have a cup of coffee?”

I’m stunned. The first reply I think of is to tell her the truth, that ‘I don’t drink coffee’. But that would make me look like a wimp.

Then I wonder; if we go for coffee, since she invited me, ‘will she pick up the check?’

I hear myself saying, “I can’t go, because I’m married.” She nods, beams another big smile and strides off into the parking lot.

I wonder if Judy will need anything at Publix tomorrow?

P.S. As she strode out to her car I noticed she wasn’t carrying a shopping bag or pushing a cart. I imagined that Publix must be out of her brand of coffee.