ONLY THE GOOD DIE

I finally figured out why the world is such a very difficult place in which to live. Have you ever wondered why there are wars, prejudice, widespread criminal activity on high and on low, and a host of other ills that beset our society? Just read the Obituary pages in your local paper (if indeed your local area has a newspaper) and the answer is obvious. Only the good die.

         Every person named in the Obits is either a loving person, a great friend, a caring relative, an esteemed member, a quintessential New Yorker defined by elegance and philanthropy, a gentle man who was kind to his friends and family, a warm, genuine, vivacious and deeply caring person, a wonderful human being, a best friend, a loving mentor, a deeply cherished person, an effective and inspiring leader, a distinguished public servant, etc. 

So only the good die which leaves our world populated with bastards  - - - and until some of the bastards die we’ll still have wars, prejudice, criminal activity ad infinitum.

I’ll know that my children’s and grandchildren’s’ future will be a brighter one once I read that some of the bastards are dying off.

P.S. On January 25, 2013 The New York Times had an obituary that included respected entrepreneur and hot dog connoisseur.

SPYROS SKOURAS DIED ON MY BIRTHDAY

     My morning ritual is to shower and shave and then make my breakfast. I read the New York Times over my toast and coffee, or to be more exact I always read the obituaries first. You know the old joke that a senior citizen reads the obituaries to see of his name is there. Well the other day, fortunately my name wasn’t there, but Spyros Skouras’ name was.

Reading his obituary brought me back to a day in 1945 when I returned to Yale from two and half years in the Air Force. I was lucky enough to be assigned a single room in Pierson, one of the 10 or so “colleges” in which students lived and ate. 

That was a memorable day for me because as I started moving my things into the room a large number of students started to file into the room to say, “Hello”. I was astounded because I didn’t remember ‘Yalies’ as being so friendly. I introduced myself to each person who entered and noticed a surprised look on their faces when I told them my name.

One student put me out of (or into) my misery but announcing that the word was that Spryos Skouras (son of the shipping magnate) was supposed to occupy that room. Imagine their disappointment when no Spyros, and to add insult to injury for some, it was a Jewish student  - - - one of the few allowed in under the University’s quota system.

FREE LUNCH AT IHOP

    You undoubtedly recall that I received a coupon from IHOP to recognize my 87th birthday last week. I love their Swedish pancakes topped with luscious lingonberries so the gift was most appreciated. And to add to my riches I had received a jar of imported lingonberries from the Deena and Alan Cohen as a birthday present.

     Since there was a 7 day limit for the use of the coupon, Judy and I  rushed out to Sunday Brunch with coupon in hand. I decided that it would be insulting to the chef at IHOP to bring my own lingonberries so I went berryless.

      Judy had a Senior Special, two of everything for $5.99, and I ordered the crepes ($7.99). Both dishes were delicious.

     The restaurant was jammed - - - I assumed everyone there had just had a birthday within 7 days.  A waitress bring a balloon to a woman at another table, who was then serenaded with a chorus of "Happy Birthday".  I awaited a similar singing accolade and balloon but none was forthcoming. I felt a little let down, but restrained  myself from making a scene.

    As I paid my check at the cash register I mentioned to the cashier that Mrs. X had gotten a balloon in recognition of her and that I hadn't. She replied with a smile, "We like her better."; but then she reached under the desk and brought forth a beautiful blue balloon and asked if I wanted her to blow it up for me. I thought awhile and then decided to leave well enough alone.

GERMAN VISITORS

     In the past few weeks about 40% of the visitors to Earl's Pearls have come from Germany. I welcome them but can't for the life of me figure out how they found my Blog and what attracted them to this site.

     I'd be interested in finding the answer to this "rätsel"and I'd appreciate it if anyone from Germany would post a Comment or send me an E-mail with an explanation.

Auf Wiedersehen

IS THE MAN PROMOTING "REVERSE MORTGAGES" FULL OF BOLOGNA

Please excuse my ‘corny’ play on words in the title of this story but as this tale unfolds you’ll see it’s a fit description of the events that transpired at the seminar I attended yesterday.

My last book, “The Adventures Of A Free Lunch Junkie” which I published almost two years ago was a satiric description of my attendance at 50 seminars offering free lunches, dinners and breakfasts from Miami Beach to Palm Beach. I really enjoyed doing the research for this book, not just for the free food but also because each event turned out to be very entertaining.

And so when I received an invitation in the mail last week to attend a free lunch seminar at Ben’s Delicatessen, which is just down the road, I couldn’t kick the habit. The dream of an over sized pastrami sandwich on rye with a dab of mustard was like a taste of white powder to a junkie. 

I called to make a registration and thankfully there was still room for me on January 17th. 

OUTSIDE OF BEN'S DELICATESSEN

      It wasn’t all ‘cakes and ale’ because I had been to this very same promoter’s Reverse Mortgage Seminar in 2010 and I was afraid Dave would recognize me as I entered the private dining area at Ben’s at 12:00 pm sharp. But he greeted me with a big smile and open arms and provided me with a brochure packed with scads of information about Reverse Mortgages.

I entered the room, took a seat at a table for six, and eagerly scanned the Special Menu that stared up at me from the white paper place mat on the table. My heart sank, my stomach gurgled. The closest thing on the menu to one of Ben’s famous over sized pastrami sandwiches was a bologna and egg sandwich. I was reminded of my foray in May 2010 into Dave’s seminar at The Cheesecake Factory when I had visions of a platter of fried chicken, with biscuits and gravy topped off with a large slice of their fabulous cheesecake and wound up with a chopped salad. How could I trust what Dave has to say about Reverse Mortgages after being disappointed so bitterly on two occasions.

My disposition was softened since the menu included a bowl of matzo ball soup and garlic pickles. A waiter took my soup and sandwich order, but when I asked for Dr. Brown’s cream soda the waitress told  me only fountain drinks were available. Strike two, Dave.

But I’m a bigger man than Dave and I decided to listen to his spiel with an open mind, and a half empty stomach.

The man next to me coughed. Then he coughed again. It’s flu season and the last thing in the world I need is to catch it. I immediately got up and joined two ladies at a nearby table. One of them greeted me with a cough. “Have you just had the flu?” I asked. “Yes”, she smilingly replied, “but I’m over it.” 

At my third table the occupants seemed healthy enough so I sat back to listen to the lecture wondering how long it would be before lunch was served. Well, it wasn’t until 2:00 pm that the embarrassed sandwich made its late appearance and for the better part of two hours I had to listen to why a Reverse Mortgage was the best thing since “chopped liver”.

IT'S ONE THIRTY AND AS YOU CAN SEE
THERE'S NOTHING ON THE TABLE TO EAT

I won’t bore you with the details of Dave’s presentation. As the minutes ticked by it was difficult to tell which of the 30 some odd senior citizens where there to get information or a free sandwich. As the hungry crowd grew more restless Dave promised, “The food should be walking through the door any second”.

At 1:35 pm a murmur went through the room as the waiters entered with bowls of pickles for each table. Ben’s sour pickles are “to die for”.

At 1:40 pm the rye bread entered.

At 1:45 pm the creamy cole slaw made its appearance.

At 1:49 pm bowls of soup (matzo ball or mushroom and barley) hit the tables and were eagerly slurped up.

At 1:54 pm Dave started going around the room with an appointment book in hand to try and get the guests to make a definite appointment to have him come to their house to find out more about the program and hopefully sign up for a mortgage. I told him to call me next week. I wonder if you ask Dave to come to your house if you have to provide lunch. Some people made appointments but it was impossible to tell how many did. 

Dave never once mentioned how much his fee was for arranging the mortgage, but in the Q. & A., after much hemming and hawing, he told me it would be about $8,000 for a $600,000 mortgage. Come on Dave, eight thousand dollars would buy an awful lot of overstuffed pastrami sandwiches.

At 1:54 pm the waiters brought around empty plastic bowls for the guests to take uneaten food home “for later”.

At 2:04 pm the main course arrived. My bologna and egg sandwich made its appearance.

       I ate half and took half home for the cat - - - who devoured it. Perhaps he’d be interested in a Reverse Mortgage.

All in all it was two hours well spent. My table mates were convivial and the food was fine, if a bit disappointing. I won’t let Dave in my house, not because he isn’t a nice man , but because  I can tell he’s a bulldog and I could never get him to leave.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

TODAY'S MY 87th.

     At 7 o'clock this morning, when I opened my emails, there was a birthday greeting from my friends at IHOP along with a gift certificate good for a free breakfast of my favorite crepes with cottage cheese.

    At 11:30 am I'm being taken out to lunch by my old friend Maury Fulton. We go to Neiman Marcus every January 18th and I love their hot popovers.

     At 5:30 pm we're going to Deena and Alan Cohen's house for dinner. She's a great cook and she's preparing my traditional birthday dinner of steak, lima beans and baked potato - - - with angel food cake and coffee ice cream for dessert.

      And all I have to do is leave a reasonable tip at IHOP.

WHAT A DAY!

P.S. I forgot to take a camera to Neiman's so I had this photo taken with my cell phone just to prove that I was having a popover.

Maury also was kind enough to also bring me a birthday gift. He said I didn't need to open it until I got home, but I couldn't wait. Now I know why he wanted me to wait. It was a bedside alarm clock; but when I tried to set the time nothing happened.  I guess the battery was dead. Since we're going out to dinner tonight perhaps I'll just re-wrap it and bring it along as a house gift.

P.P.S. The gifts keep rolling in. Yesterday I attended a Free Lunch Seminar and I'm in the process of writing it up for my Blog. While I was out  today one of the speakers at the luncheon called  and Judy took the message. They offered me a free Power of Attorney.  It's sure my lucky day.

BEEF WELLINGTON FIT FOR AN EARL

P.P.P.S. My birthday dinner more than lived up to my expectations and ended the day on a high note. Deena Cohen outdid herself preparing my traditional meal of steak, lima beans and potatoes. Here's some photos of my hosts,  the beautiful table setting and Mr. Wellington's beef. 

KING FOR A DAY

FOUR STAR CHEF

FOUR STAR HOST

PHOTOGRAPHY - THEN AND NOW

On my thirteenth birthday I received an Argus C3 35 mm camera as a bar mitzvah present along with 30 fountain pens. The camera turned out to be a life changing gift some 50 years or so later.

I had never taken a picture in my first thirteen years but the Argus changed that. I taught myself how to take pictures (mostly portraits) and how to develop black and white negatives into lovely 8x10 enlargements in the bathroom/darkroom I shared with my younger brother.

When I was sixteen I took photos of the counselors at summer camp and sold them for 25 cents apiece. I made enough money to buy a Speed Graphic camera which I used to take pictures for my high school and college newspapers.

Then there was a hiatus of several  decades until someone had a slideshow of pictures he had taken. The camera bug struck again. Judy bought a Leica outfit for me and I spent years taking travel photos on our annual vacation trips. I used slide film and printed the best shots in a Cibachrome color darkroom I set up, first in a studio in NYC, then in an upstairs closet in out first home when we moved to Boca Raton, and then in the studio space I took in a nearby warehouse facility.

I also used a panoramic camera on our trips and  I sold the oversized slide film through a stock agency; with one picture of the Taj Mahal receiving world-wide attention (and copying) on the Internet.

Now as my 87th birthday approaches in a few days I’m back to square one; taking portraits of friends. The only difference is that 71 years ago I charged 25 cents for an 8x10 and now I give them away.

THE REST OF THIS BLOG IS DIRECTED AT MY FRIENDS ON THE ST. ANDREWS TENNIS TEAM WHO I HAVE ENJOYED PHOTOGRAPHING THESE PAST FEW WEEKS.

IF THEY GO TO THE LINK BELOW (ON SHUTTERFLY) THEY CAN VIEW MANY OF THESE PHOTOGRAPHS:

                          http://standrewstennis.shutterfly.com/pictures#n_5

If you need a password to sign in just email me.

JUST CAN CLICK ON ANY PHOTO IN THE SLIDESHOW TO ENLARGE IT.

HERE'S ONE OF THE PHOTOGRAPHS: