CASKETS "R" US

Spurred on by an article I just read in the AARP Bulletin I am embarking on a new career and I’m going to franchise my idea to give my readers a chance to get in on the ground floor (or even below the ground floor). In the, “Now Hear This” column on page 8 of the April 2013 issue I found an article titled, “COFFIN THERAPY”, which started my business juices to flow. 

The article stated that, “…for people who feared death, “coffin therapy in Ukraine and China might help. A Ukrainian coffin-maker lets people relax for 15 minutes in one of his custom-made caskets. In Shanghai a person can get an artificial near-death experience by lying in a closed coffin as family members read epitaphs.”

So I’ve decided to copy Mattress Giant and all those other mattress retailers who let you try out a mattress by lying down on it in the store.  I am going to open a franchised chain of “CASKETS “R” US” stores and customers can try one on for feel. You wouldn’t want to spend eternity in a coffin that didn’t feel just right.

But, I’m going to go the Ukrainians and Chinese one better by installing sun-tanning lamps in the caskets so the potential customer can get a tan while he gives the coffin a “road test.”

My first store will open in Boca Raton this fall and I’ll be interviewing high-pressure sales people in July. Any retirees who are looking for a place to put their life savings should consider purchasing a  franchise for their home area.  There’s no better place to put your money if you’ve just taken out a Reverse Mortgage on your home. Just send me an e-mail address and I’ll send off a compete package of information and forms. The mail will arrive in a plain brown envelope.