Gordon
Bushell started his career as a copywriter at Macy’s and quickly climbed the
ladder of success becoming a real life ‘Mad Men’ as the top executive and
chairman of a major New York Advertising Agency. Gordon lives in Boca Raton,
Florida, (just down the street from me) and continues using his talents writing
a humorous, weekly newspaper column.
Check out his recent books including, “HUMOR IS A FUNNY THING”. It’s
a great read. You can buy it on Amazon, right after you’ve bought my book, “The
Adventures Of A Free Lunch Junkie”.
Here’s what Gordon wrote for my readers of Earl’s Pearls.
For all of you out there who must be “gluten
free”, to help you through your adversity, I have penned this bit of
“versity”.........
SALUTIN’
GLUTEN
ALAS, POOR ME
FOR UNLIKE THEE
I MUST FOREVER BE
DINING FROM A RECIPE
THAT’S TOTALLY AND BORINGLY
GLUTEN FREE
HOW DO I LIKE GLUTEN FREE?
I WILL TELL THEE...HONESTLY
CHOCOLATE CAKE WITHOUT GLUTEN??????
LIKE GRAVITY WITHOUT NEWTON
LIKE MOSCOW WITHOUT PUTIN
LIKE THE CZAR WITHOUT RASPUTIN
LIKE ARIZONA WITH NO BUTTE IN
LIKE THE O.K. CORRAL WITH NO SHOOTIN’
LIKE A WESTERN WITH NO GALOOT IN
OR HIS MOUTH WITH NO CHEROOT IN
LIKE OUR ECONOMY.... BARACK’S NOT ASTUTE
IN
MAMA MIA! PASTA MUST HAVE GLUTEN!!!!
LIKE OWLS MUST KEEP HOOTIN’
LIKE CHEERLEADERS MUST KEEP ROOTIN’
LIKE KICKERS MUST KEEP BOOTIN’
LIKE HORNS MUST KEEP TOOTIN’
LIKE DA’S MUST KEEP PROSECUTIN’
LIKE THE MARINES MUST KEEP RECRUITIN’
LIKE BILL GATES MUST KEEP COMPUTIN’
LIKE MY NIGHTLY VODKA....I MUST KEEP
DILUTIN’
LIKE ASTRONAUTS MUST GO UP.... A SPACE
SUIT IN!
OY VEY! A BAGEL WITHOUT GLUTEN?????
LIKE THE PHILHARMONIC WITH NO FLUTE IN
LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE WITH NO FRUIT IN
LIKE BANK OF AMERICA WITH NO LOOT IN
LIKE THE SUPER BOWL WITH NO BRUTE IN
LIKE A PARA WITH NO CHUTE IN
LIKE A REPUBLICAN DEBATE....WITH NO NEWT
IN
PITY THE POOR PUMPERNICKEL WITHOUT GLUTEN.......
LIKE “ROOTIN’’ WITHOUT “TOOTIN’”.
LIKE “HIGH” WITHOUT “FALUTIN”
LIKE STUBBS WITHOUT WOOTON
LIKE A FIG WITH NO NEWTON
LIKE THE HATFIELDS AND MC COYS WITH NO
DISPUTIN’
LIKE THAT FABLED SUIT....WITH NO ZOOT IN
LIKE YOUR WIFE.... WITH NOTHING NEW TO LOOK
CUTE IN
I MUST LEAVE YOU NOW
YES, THE TIME HAS COME
CAUSE NO MORE RHYME HAS COME
YOU GUESSED IT.....
THE BATHROOM I MUST NOW SCOOT IN
BUT REST ASSURED
I WON’T BE POOPIN’ ANY GLUTEN
Hi Earl, So happy to see you and read your latest blog (I'm also blogging @ Blog.com). Saw Bill Green at the Polo Gym a while ago and he told me about his friend Gordon Bushell who is also an Author. My first book called "Hating Dating" was self-published and I just updated it to become an E-book. My next two are finished, waiting for the publisher to get off their collective asses. One is about $urviving Financially the other one is about overcoming Insomnia. You(one) might say how are these connected ? Well, if you run out of money, you can't sleep and would be a waste on a date.
ReplyDeletePlease give Gordon my number 865-4580, and just say the funniest guy at Polo wants to meet him, or you can tell him the truth. (re Bill Green).
Thanks and Regards,
Marty Savarick
To my dear Cousin Gordon, may you rest in peace. You will be missed by so many friends and relatives. With love, June
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