MY FRIEND, JOSEPH A. BANKS, KEENLY DISAPPOINTED ME THIS WEEK. I TAKE THE LIBERTY OF CALLING HIM MY FRIEND, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NEVER MET, BECAUSE HE HAS INTRUDED INTO MY FAMILY ROOM SO MANY EVENINGS VIA TV THAT I FEEL I KNOW HIM.
MY DISSATISFACTION STEMS FROM THE ‘CHINTZINESS’ OF HIS POST-CHRISTMAS SALE - - - A MEASLEY, “BUY ONE GET THREE FREE” sale. I PUT THE WORD SALE IN SMALL LETTERS ON PURPOSE BECAUSE JOSPEPH OFFERED THE SAME DEAL LONG AGO. I KNOW BECAUSE I WROTE A STORY ABOUT THAT SALE ON MY BLOG ON 9th NOVEMBER
I’D EXPECT THE JOSEPH TO AT LEAST HAVE OFFERED ‘EIGHT’ OR ‘NINE’ FREE WITH EVERY PURCHASE IN THE POST-CHRISTMAS WEEK WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS PRACTI-CALLY GIVING AWAY THE MERCHANDISE THEY COULDN’T SELL BEFORE DECEMBER 25TH.
P.S. I WANTED TO INCLUDE A PHOTOGRAPH OF MY FRIEND JOSEPH A. BANKS WITH THIS STORY BUT, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I COULD NOT FIND A SINGLE PHOTO OF HIM ON THE INTERNET. IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME GO TO THE INTERNET AND ‘GOOGLE’ IMAGES OF JOSEPH A. BANKS. THE CLOSEST I COULD COME UP WITH IN THE THOUSANDS OF IMAGES THAT DID APPEAR WAS THIS ONE OF A JOSE BANKS, A BANK ROBBER WHO MADE A DARING ESCAPE FROM CHICAGO’S METRO CORRECTIONAL CENTER ON DECEMBER 30TH.
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ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN JOSE BANKS, THE ROBBER, AND JOSEPH A. BANKS, THE RETAILER, IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
IF I FIND A PHOTO OF THE REAL MR. BANKS I’LL POST IT IMMEDIATELY.
WOULDN’T IT BE SOMETHING IF JOSE BANKS, AFTER ESCAPING AND NEEDING TO CHANGE FROM HIS TACKY BRIGHT ORANGE PRISON CLOTHES, WENT INTO A JOSEPH A. BANKS STORE AND BOUGHT HIMSELF A SUIT FROM “THEIR SIGNATURE COLLECTION THAT FEATURES CLASSIC MERINO WOOL WITH EXCEPTIONAL SOFTNESS AND UNCOMPROMISING FIT” AND WALKED OUT WITH THREE FREE SUITS. HE’D FEEL AS IF HE WERE STEALING!
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